Today is a definitely a day for U2. After a night of cleaning my house, (in preparation for J & Harp's sleepover this weekend) I went and spent my 5th night with her. I've never felt so close to someone so fast, I've never felt so ready to be with someone fully, as I do with her. Honestly, I feel safe. I feel safe knowing she is the person she wants to be already... she is no work in progress, no half assed attempts. She seems to live her life to the fullest by doing what makes her the most happy. Cheesey... but its refreshing to have finally met someone like that. Someone who doesn't need fixing... someone I can just be me with. I look at her and I get lost, she turns away. I think the feelings are just intense between us, it's almost like my eyes burn right through her's, and she can feel it. I see the worry she has, the hurt she's felt, and the caution she's still holding onto... all in her eyes. But there is so much more there... I can see the hope, she hasn't lost that.
(Brockley's first day home)
Today is the final day of "shared custody" of the dogs, I'm a little sad knowing this will be the last time I see Brockley for probably quite sometime. But this is the time for me to fully break away from a person who has turned my world upside down more times than I can count... this is LONG overdue. I remember the first time I laid eyes on her I teared up. Sitting on Cathy's hardwood floors watching Brock bumble around, all cute and floppy, still so unsure of how to walk without running into things. I do have to say it hasn't been easy with her. Her behavior and lack of bladder control have been a problem for so long... I only wish she gets into some obedience classes. I know she will be happy staying with my ex, and that does give me some comfort knowing that she loves Brock so much, and would always take very good care of her. It still doesn't take away from the heart wrenching feeling I have writting this.
Current Mood: A little sad, but overall very happy.
TONIGHT: Apt. viewing w/ J & the Harps & the Beene, gym, dinner of halibut, fresh corn on the cob & veggies & going to bed early!!
I will have a fabulous weekend. Again.
PS> This is how life should be...
"Touch me, take me to that other place.
Teach me, I know I’m not a hopeless case..." - "Beautiful Day" U2
I want to know all there is to know about her.
Friday, May 19, 2006
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